FRUSTRATIONS
Do you ever get frustrated? Do you get bothered when you are trying to do something and it doesn't work? Does it upset you when nothing is going according to plan? Of course!! Everyone does at some time or another.
Frustrations can arise due to miscommunication, unmet expectations, and dealing with situations beyond our control. Our instincts may be to get angry, rage against the whole world, or even, get mad at ourselves. The big problem is that those types of reactions just make the situations worse!
If you are struggling with a problem, one of the first steps can be to just take a break. Stop trying to solve it, and do something else for a while. Hitting your head against the wall isn't very productive! If you notice that you haven't eaten, had enough fluids, or are over-tired, take care of those physical needs first. Physical activity can give you a different direction for your energy – go for a walk, do some exercise, practice some yoga. Using creative activities can also help- do art, music, dance, make something, build something, cook, whatever you enjoy doing. They can take your mind off of the problem, and allow you time to regroup by using your brain in another way.
Ask for help, either to solve the problem, or just to listen and give you some moral support. One of the best tricks is to always tell the other person whether you want problem solving or listening. You can say “I have a problem, and I need to talk about about it, but I don't need you to fix it” or “I have a problem and I'd really like your ideas about it”. That allows the other person to prepare to give you the type of help you really want, if possible.
Calm yourself with meditation or deep breathing. A good method is 4-7-8 breathing: breathe in for four seconds, hold for seven, breathe out for eight. Deep breaths can lower your blood pressure, calm your heart rate and breathing, decrease the tension in you muscles, and clear your mind. Once you have calmed down, you can think more clearly and may be able to problem solve more effectively.
Sometimes frustrations come from trying to do everything. If one thing doesn't go well, it can cause you to spiral and the next thing doesn't go right either, and so on! Stop. You can't do everything! No one can! When you've cleared your mind, decide what you need to do right now. One thing! What is the most important thing to do at this moment? It may be writing an outline or making notes for your project. It may be getting something to eat. Whatever it is, do that first. Don't worry about the next things or what would happen if they aren't accomplished perfectly. Just do the one thing. When you finish that one, then stop and think about what the next most important thing to do is at that moment. It requires some focus to do one thing at a time, but it can be far less frustrating.
This week, the Hill Country Family Therapy website was down for several days. We tried calling/emailing with Google Domains, and frustration just kept building. It affected everything else as well- causing sleep problems, interfering with getting other things done, causing irritability all around. Eventually, we took a break, and stopped obsessing over it. When we stopped stressing, we found the right solution and the website was back.
Learning how to deal with frustrations takes practice. But, it can be very useful!