NEW YEAR’S WISHES
What do you wish for the New Year? Some people make New Year's resolutions, many of which barely make it through January. Some people specifically refuse to make New Year's resolutions because they find them unhelpful or counterproductive. But, what would you wish for?? That's a different question.
Maybe you wish for yourself or your family to be healthier. Maybe you wish for your relationship with your spouse to be better. Maybe you wish for your children to be better behaved or do better in school. Maybe you wish for a better job (by whatever measurement you choose). Maybe you wish to improve your education.
Whatever it might be, it can start as a wish. Obviously, wishing doesn't make things happen. Wishing doesn't solve a problem or change situations. But it can be a way of putting our ideas into perspective.
There is a great trick that can be used with children when they want something that we can't give them. Perhaps you are driving with them and they are crying because they want something to eat or drink, right now. You can't provide that at this minute. If you just argue with them and say “We'll be home in a little while and you can eat or drink then”, you may not make them feel any better. But, if you give them in wishes what you can't provide in reality, you encourage them to think differently about the situation. Humour and absurdity can help also. You may tell them “Do you wish you had a whole bucketful of water? Do you wish the whole car was full of water? Do you wish you had a whole mountain of food?” and it is likely you will have them giggling rather than whining.
First, you wish, then you can think about what you might do. It's easiest to start small. It doesn't take much to be kind to someone, whether a friend or a stranger. Try something new- make something, go somewhere you've never been, read a new book, learn how to cook something, dance or sing or do something you always wanted to do but were afraid you wouldn't be able to do perfectly. Stop worrying about perfect! Do the thing for yourself, and don't pay any attention to what someone else might think. Do a little exercise- go for a walk, do some yoga, find an activity you enjoy. Call a friend. Listen to your significant other or your child without interruption (just let them tell you how they feel). Don't necessarily focus on a long term goal or a large project. Do one thing at a time and then, give your own self positive feedback. “Yay for me! I did it!!”
My favourite New Year's messages are from Neil Gaiman who has written them on several occasions. One of them, written in 2004, was “I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.”
What do you wish?