Embarrassing Accidents
Few situations are more distressing than having a personal accident in a public place. Having sudden onset of uncontrollable diarrhea is horrible. Accidentally losing control of your bladder, especially while laughing or enjoying yourself, can be very upsetting. Finding out that your period started and you have blood showing on your clothes while at school or work can be devastating. Projectile vomiting without warning can be gross and uncomfortable all at once. There are all sorts of ways our bodies produce substances that we would rather they didn't in public!
When these things happen (as they do to almost everyone in some way or another), many people will feel terribly embarrassed and ashamed. We may remember getting in trouble as a child for having bowel or bladder accidents. Our parents may have shamed us and told us that we were “bad” or “filthy” because of our body functions. Many women have been taught that their menstrual periods are “dirty” and must always be kept secret. Having a period, a fact of every female life for several decades of her adulthood, is supposed to be hidden. Even the simple situation of a sanitary pad or tampon falling out of her purse causes ridicule.
Since embarrassing accidents happen to every human being, we may be able learn to handle them without feeling personal shame. We didn't do anything wrong. It's not at all in our control. We can accept that “it just happened” and do what we can to move forward.
Aside from bodily functions acting in unexpected ways, there are so many other times we get embarrassed. We say the wrong thing. We make a mistake. We have “wardrobe malfunctions”. We trip. We forget things.
A blog post by Therese Borchard has great ideas about how to handle these embarrassing moments in https://www.huffpost.com/.../overcoming-embarrassment_b.... One of my favorites is “Visit humiliations past”- think back to a time you thought you would die of embarrassment, and you didn't! As I have heard in another meme “You have survived 100% of your worst days. You're doing fine!”
Another method of getting past an embarrassment is to “Solicit other stories” - when you share your most embarrassing moment with a friend, they are emboldened to tell you theirs and you all can laugh at how horrible it can be, and how we all have those moments. It becomes something two humans share, and that makes us feel better.
Learning how to deal with life's embarrassments is good for your self-esteem in the long run! We deal with things and move on. If you continue to have trouble with self-blame or self-shame, you may need a good therapist to help you learn to accept yourself, just as you are. For more information about how therapy can help with these problems, contact Martin Noel, LMFT-Associate at Hill Country Family Therapy