Cognitive Errors Part 5

LABELING is another common cognitive error which can affect how you feel about someone. It involves making a judgment about others or even yourself based on an isolated event. They are usually negative and extreme.

For example, your colleague doesn't finish one report on time, and you label them as “useless” for all time. You make a single mistake and you tell yourself “I'm a jerk” or “I'm a loser”.

Labeling other people is usually harmful to any type of relationship. Labeling yourself can be harmful to your own self-esteem.

Even when people don't intend harm, LABELING can creep into their thinking. A mom can be talking to another mom and say “Oh, John is just like his dad. He's a slow learner”. When John overhears this, he can conclude that he really is a slow learner and won't ever be able to do well. This can cause him to give up trying harder or asking for help, since he's already been labeled as “slow”. It can be very damaging to his self-esteem.

Many of us do it all the time with strangers. We see someone driving faster than the speed limit and we label them as “crazy drivers”. We may not realize there really is an emergency and they are trying to get there in time. We see a person do something in the grocery store and we label them as “rude”, when we don't know that they have a hearing problem and didn't understand what was said. Making an assumption and labeling people based on a single incident is rarely helpful.

If you find yourself LABELING others or yourself in this way, step back and ask if you really think the label is an accurate assessment of that person's overall personality or behavior. Ask yourself if more information would likely change your thinking. Sometimes, people need a good psychotherapist to help them understand why they have this pattern of thinking and how to change it. My husband, Martin Noel, LMFT-Associate, is available at Hill Country Family Therapy for individual, family, or couples' therapy.