Stressed Out Kids
I wrote this piece several years ago for a local newspaper. In the middle of our COVID pandemic, it is more true than ever.
STRESSED OUT KIDS
Stress is much more common in children and adolescents than most people imagine. Everyone experiences stress at some time, but some kids have a lot more trouble dealing with it. It can also be a cumulative effect- one thing after another until it is overwhelming. The “final straw” can be a simple thing, but it can be combined with other stresses until it is no longer manageable.
For many kids and teens, school can be a stressful environment. There is more pressure to succeed at an earlier age. Kindergartners are expected to have skills previously expected in first and second graders. Students can become very anxious about STAAR testing and may present with stress-related symptoms, including headaches, stomach aches, sleep and appetite changes, school avoidance behavior, and other psychological concerns. Pressure from teachers or parents regarding grades, sports activities and other extracurricular activities may leave some students with little chance to relax. Bullying at school has become a serious source of stress in children and they frequently hesitate to talk with anyone about it.
Children and teens may also have stress due to family situations, such as recent moves, change of school, new siblings or divorce. Kids may notice more than you think when there are household changes due to financial difficulties or illnesses, and feel stress when they don't understand what is happening. Children with a family history for mental illness may be more prone to having severe depression or anxiety issues which may require mental health treatment.
Everybody has stress; it's what you do with it that's important. Children may handle stress differently than adults. Frequently, children hold anxieties inside, and actually become sick from it. It can affect their sleep, appetite, enjoyment of other activities, school performance, as well as cause frequent headaches and stomach problems. Children may act out when they are stressed- hitting, yelling, crying frequently, calling names, or testing their school or home rules with inappropriate behavior. Adolescents may develop self-destructive behaviors such as drinking alcohol, smoking, experimenting with drugs, unsafe sex practices, or self- harm (such as cutting or even attempted suicide).
Helping your child learn to deal with stress starts early.
*Teach your child to deal with frustrations by taking deep breaths, and then trying something a different way or asking for assistance.
*Help them understand that no one is perfect, and you don't expect them to be.
*Remind them that you love them, no matter what.
*Acknowledge their mistakes and help them learn from them rather than feeling that they have failed.
*Demonstrate a positive attitude- show your child that being optimistic can change their outlook. Point out the good in a situation rather than focus on the negative aspects.
*Teach your child to have healthy habits- eat nutritious food, drink plenty of water, get a good night's sleep, avoid alcohol, smoking, and drugs, and exercise regularly.
*Help your child or teen find activities which they enjoy for stress relief.
*Physical exercise is a great way to burn off stress- a walk, riding a bicycle, going to a gym, take a yoga class, playing a sport for fun, or just playing outdoors.
*Help your child or adolescent explore their creativity- art, music, dance, writing, building, cooking, yarn-work- anything that allows your child to express their individuality can be great for the self-esteem.
*When you praise their work, show your child that you notice their efforts and the specific details which are unique to them, such as “I love how you use purple in this painting. It really makes me happy to look at it”. Overpraising a child by telling them they are the “best artist in the world” can backfire and cause the child to be afraid of not being able to live up to your expectation.
*Don't over-schedule your child. Allow some down-time for your child to play, relax, and spend time alone or with friends.
Lastly, teach your child or teen that it is good to ask for help when they are over-stressed, having physical concerns, or feeling overwhelmed. Help your child understand that requesting help from you, a teacher, a doctor, or other trusted adult is a healthy choice, not a sign that they have failed in any way. If you are worried about your child's stress, Dr Cheryl Coldwater may be able to help. She may be able to recommend a therapist, discuss ways to reduce stressful triggers and handle everyday stresses in a more healthy manner, prescribe medication if necessary, or refer you to a specialist. If you'd like to schedule an appointment, go to https://big-sky-pediatrics.clientsecure.me/ or contact Dr. Coldwater at doctormom457@yahoo.com