Worrying
WORRYING
Do you worry about everything?? Do you get nervous about going to a new place or meeting new people? Do you worry about what might happen tomorrow, or next week, or next year? Do you get anxious speaking in public, or talking to a stranger? Do you worry about not fitting in with a group at school? Do relatively minor disruptions cause you to feel the entire day was ruined?
Most people worry some of the time. It's natural to think about “what ifs” and try to control situations to make things go more smoothly. It's common to have certain fears, such as fear of flying in a plane, fear of heights, fear of being ridiculed, etc. We try to plan for problems and avoid troublesome situations. Some of it is simple safety. We try not to walk down dark alleys in unfamiliar places. We put on our seat belts and look both ways before crossing the street.
But sometimes, worrying can become more extreme. Some people will worry so much that it is very difficult for them to leave their home or to go anywhere new. Some people will develop anxieties that lead to OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorders) where they constantly feel the need to have objects in the same place, or feel the need to wash their hands or do other rituals to feel any relief of their anxiety. Sometimes, people can worry so much that it seriously affects their ability to go to school or to work.
It may help to think of worries in two categories. There are worries about something you can do something about. If you have a test coming up, worrying may help you have the motivation to study for the exam so you will do your best. If you have an interview or meeting, worrying may help you prepare and rehearse what you want to say. Worrying about things you can change or prepare for can be beneficial.
The other types of worries are those in which you can do nothing. You can't control what other people do or say. You can't control all of the possible events of the day. You can't control “world peace” (as I tell my patients)- not by yourself! These worries don't benefit you at all. They can cause more distress and further anxieties to develop.
At times, we may be able to dismiss the people and situations beyond our control and just accept that worrying over them will not help. At other times, we may feel overwhelmed by them and be unable to get past that point. We can get stuck worrying about what someone said or might say or do. We can become hyper-focused on what might go wrong, even though we can rationally understand that we can't control it.
If you feel your worries are causing a negative impact on your life, or preventing you from being able to enjoy things as you would like, you may need some help. Dr. Cheryl Coldwater is an experienced Pediatric Mental Health provider who can help children and teenagers with these problems. You can schedule an appointment on SimplePractice.com for an office visit, virtual appointment, or a meeting in the park where we can safely distance as needed.